It is well past time for you 6-inch dick boys to stop telling us (and yourselves!) that you’ve got enough in your tighty-whiteys to make a woman happy. I’m here to disavow you of that illusion and inform you in no uncertain terms that YOU. DO. NOT. We’re not necessarily upset or angry, but that’s not enough to qualify as ‘happy’. It means you’ve got a lot to prove if you want us to stick around, or it’s time to find a way to eroticize some mild penis humiliation.

While some women might still feel a misguided sense of…obligatory politeness? pity for the fragile male ego? some leftover sense that “if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”…a confident woman who owns her sexuality would not, and that’s why you’re here. The good news for you – the number of women who are demure about their needs and desires is dwindling daily. What an awesome trend all around!


Reality Dick Check

Can you think of ONE THING in life where “average” is something to take pride in? Just because something can be *worse* doesn’t mean we all need to go around rejoicing that yours is not scraping the bottom of the barrel. Let’s look at some averages in life, and think about how those numbers make you feel.

  • Grade C on a test
  • Salary of $53,400
  • 3 hours of TV daily
  • 10 annual vacation days
  • Living until age 73.6
  • An IQ of 100
  • A 5.5 to 6-inch dick

I’ll bet you just found yourself thinking pffft, I got mostly Bs through college, my salary hasn’t been in the 50s since I was in my 20s, I watch maybe an hour of news, blah blah blah. Which just proves my point. You looked at those statistics and enjoyed finding all the ways you were better than average. Which brings us back to the very ordinary contents of your underpants. What do you say to yourself to feel better about your forgettable fap stick? I’ll bet it’s some spin on one of these two:

“I’ve never had any complaints” tops the list. For one thing, your attempt at a humble-brag is kind of lame. And also, the absence of a complaint does not imply a compliment.

“I’m so good with my tongue, my cock is just the icing on the cake”. You do know that a cake with lousy icing is worse than no cake at all, right? Just sayin’.

I’ve been wracking my formidable brain trying to dredge up other lame-ass excuses I’ve heard from the Dollar Dick Club (named as such because a dollar bill is – you guessed it – roughly 6 inches. However, that’s pretty much it, that’s all they’ve got for a defense. 


Your Mediocre 6-Inch Dick Is NEVER Exciting

Whenever a woman is about to see a man naked for the first time, she’s hopeful. I mean, she’s at that point where she’s clearly attracted to you, she’s sexually excited by you, you’ve managed to avoid tripping any of her red flags…and now it’s time for the Big Reveal. At least, she’s hoping it’s a Big Reveal! Whether or not she openly admits it, she knows size matters and absolutely wants you to pull out a nice thick, juicy 7-8-9+ inch slab of prime beef. Instead, out springs a Ball Park frank that plumps when you stroke it.

Now it’s just a matter of how well she hides her disappointment. Yes, disappointment. I guarantee you 100% that no matter what she says or does, she wanted a Bigger Reveal because damnit, she’s tired of putting a lot of effort into something that gives such minimal ROI. Remember what I said about having a lot to prove? You’d better bring an impressive level of skill, perception, kink and consideration to the bedroom if you want to keep a woman who is clearly worthy of greater endowments.

— Mistress Claire —
Humiliator of Humdrum Penises

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