You’re a pindick with a masturbation addiction.

It seems that if there’s one thing pindick losers have in common, it’s their compulsive need to masturbate. Your little teenie weenie doesn’t get any attention from women, so you compensate by giving it all the attention it could handle. It’s a bit counter-intuitive, no? If I had something universally shunned by my preferred sex, I’d likely lock it away and never take it out. But little dicks are in a class of their own when it comes to stroking; they’d tug on their barely-there nubbin’ all day if it wasn’t for the inconveniences of real life.

You play with yourself because no one else will play with you.

If I had sympathy for dicklettes, I’d almost find it sad. However, I don’t. Life isn’t fair or fun for little dick losers. While real men are out fucking gorgeous women, you’re spending the night alone getting handsy with yourself again.

At least your Mistress will laugh at you.

You don’t have to be totally alone as you play with Rosy Palm again. Your Mistress loves jeering at chronic masturbators, and she’s especially ruthless to the pathetically endowed like yourself. So, next time you’re feeling horny (which will be soon because as a pindick, you’re all drive with no outlet), stroke for your Mistress. You won’t impress her, but you will amuse her. At this point in life, that’s the best you can hope for.

So what are you waiting for, pindick? Make your Mistress laugh.

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