“How do they know I’m a loser?” you’re probably thinking. ~Laughs~ Since you obviously aren’t bright enough to figure it out for yourself, I’ll tell you how.
Betrayed by Grocery Items
You may not realize this, but grocery stores keep track of what you buy. In fact, they have analysts whose only job is to look for purchasing patterns of patrons so they can determine which targeted coupons to send them in the mail.
“How do they keep track of what I buy?” you’re wondering. You know that “preferred customer card” you’re so proud of? The one that gives you discounts on most everything in he store and even gasoline at a nearby gas station?
The REAL Grocery Store Humiliation
Yep. You guessed it. Let that sink in. They have a record of all that baby oil, Astroglide, KY Jelly, coconut oil, olive oil -and every other substance that could conceivably be used as a personal lubricant– you’ve purchased over the years. They also know that you frequently purchase personal massagers, vitamin supplements to help maintain erections, and every adult magazine they carry each month. They also know you frequently purchase panties, pantyhose and stockings.
“But those could be for my girlfriend or wife,” you say. I suppose technically, they could, however; your name is the only one on the preferred customer account. And you buy none of the other telltale products that signify a wife or girlfriend is in the picture.
I Think the Clerk Likes Me
You know how you’re convinced that the particular clerk whose checkout you go through every time, even when you have to wait longer in line, likes you because she always gives you a wink and a smile?
Let me be the one to burst your bubble. She doesn’t like you at all. In fact, she feels sorry for you. She thinks you’re a perv who has nothing better to do than watch pornography and masturbate.
“What makes her think this?” you ask?
Well, just think about your purchases. You think you’re being slick about purchasing items used for your several times daily masturbation sessions, but it is really quite obvious to everyone but you!
Now, it’s time to go to the store again. You have a few items to purchase. And an assignment to go with it.
Click the banner below to find out what your grocery store humiliation assignment is and don’t forget to report back to me how it went!
Until next time, loser~
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