Hello My lovely pillow humpers.  Today is your lucky day!  Miss Casey is going to get you “layed”.   Okay silly calm down.  I don’t want you blowing your load from thinking about getting pussy and you are going to want to keep your head clear.

Okay jerk off junkie, go ahead.  You have three minutes to tug your hard on.  Get it out of your system, you will need to keep your head pretty clear.  There is a lot of construction to be done.  What?  You didn’t think I was actually going to get you a pussy from a real woman did you?  Sorry my little two pump chump, I was just thinking you were maybe getting a little bored of your fist.  Time for a new jerking device.  Your are going to be fucking a potato chip can.  Get it?  You are going to get “layed”!

You are much better staying home grabbing your new homemade toy and paying for phone sex jerk off junkie.  First you will need to do some shopping.  Here is your list:

  • an empty potato chip can
  • a piece of 9″x9″x1″ foam rubber
  • a condom
  • a 1 1/4″ o-ring
  • a pair of scissors
  • a marker or two
  • Okay lay out the foam and trim it to the size of the can.  Now unroll the condom and drop in the o-ring.  Lay the condom on the foam with the opening just over the edge. Make a mark where the ring sits and cut the foam into two pieces along this line.  Roll up the smaller piece of foam and put it in the can.  Roll up the condom in the larger piece of foam, making sure the ring is flat against one end of the foam roll, and the top of the condom is sticking out of the center of the other end.  Using your scissors, nip the tip of the condom, stick the foam into your new toy and keep about a half an inch outside of the container. Poke a small hole on the side, near the bottom of your new girlfriend and use a pink marker to draw a pair of lips on the center roll.  Pull the condom over the rim of the chip can and viola!  Its time to get “layed”!

    Now click the button stroker boy.

    For an erotic phone session with Empress Casey, call 800-601-6975
    Must be 18+
    Calls are $ per minute with a 10 minute minimum
    Discreetly billed to your credit card