Do you really think you could ever pass as a woman? You’ve got huge man hands, broad shoulders and we won’t mention that pony keg beer gut of yours. But the worst of it is your make up. Too embarassed to ask for professional help? Is that why you go around looking like a cross between Tammy Faye Baker and a clown? Trust me, even THEY looked better than you do. This week’s assignment is to FIND SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP BEFORE I JUST TURN THE HOSE ON YOUR FACE!! That’s right, some spackle should take care of those pits and that permanent five o cock shadow should come off if I scrape down six or seven layers of skin. OR, you can consult a department store make up artist, or one of the professional consultants with your favourite brand, be it Avon, Beauticontrol, Mary Kay or Arbonne. BUT DO IT! You’re making the rest of us sick just looking at that hideous trailer trash blue eyeshadow.

For humiliation sessions with Ms Tara call 800-601-6975

Must be 18+ to call

Calls are $1.99 per minute with a 10 minute minimum