Hello there mini-men, I’m Empress Lauren. Today we’re going to measure that worthless piece of flesh between your legs. I’m sure most of you have measured your teenie peenie before, but reinforcement is a beautiful tool. You’re just going to learn what you already know, so this will be a refresher course in “why you don’t measure up 101”! You’ll need a cloth tape measure and 3 colored highlighter pens in pink, blue and green. Take your tape measure and your highlighters and get comfortable. I want you to mark the seven inch zone with green. I know that statistics say that five inches is average, but face it. I’m not your average woman. I am superior, therefore I deserve superior cock.

Take your prick into your hand. Squeeze it firmly at the base so all the blood rushes in. Squeeze it until it throbs with longing. Now stroke slowly, feel it harden and lengthen? It’s time to measure it, the moment of truth. Remember, the tape measure doesn’t lie! Hold up your puny prick against the measure. If you’re under the seven inch mark, note your shame with the pink highlighter. Stare at it and understand exactly why you’ll never be a real man. Pink is appropriate for you as you’ve just proved yourself a pussy boy!

If you are over the seven inch range, congratulations! You might just have a worthy penis after all, but don’t get too excited. The next test is girth. Wrap the measure around your cock and measure the width of your member. Is it over 3 inches around? Or under? If it’s under, you’re still lacking, pencil dick, lol. Try again… And to see what your fate tonight is, little man? Click below….

For humiliation sessions with Ms. Lauren call 800-601-6975