Secret Masturbation at it’s Best

There’s nothing like a good, ole’ fashioned doll fuck. One of my long-time callers swears by this. Using a doll as a sex toy is secret masturbation at it’s best. Hidden, naughty, and discreet is the name of the game, because having a secret is fun, and there are just some things you just don’t bring up at the holiday dinner.

My caller loves his plastic pussy princess. For one thing, he can get a blowjob any time. But the biggest reason of all is because she doesn’t mind his sad little pin dick. She can’t laugh when he waves it in her face, no sir. She also can’t complain that she can’t feel it inside her or ask if it’s ‘in’. (You know, because a real woman would!)

Let’s Play (Doll) House

Playing house with a doll is super easy. She’s the perfect girlfriend that lets you do whatever you want. She accepts your sweaty offering of social rejection and extensive sexual failure, and it doesn’t have to affect the relationship. You can grope her anytime you like, and she never bats your hand away like you’re some perv.

My caller has officially slept with more dolls than actual women, but he can be his true kinky self with them. He can felch his own cum without raising any eyebrows from a judgmental, real girlfriend. He can have anal with that doll every night, if he chooses, or talk to the doll and pretend he finally has a confidante.

Maybe you should finally accept what my caller did years ago; that there’s no way a woman will ever end up in your bed without money exchanging hands, and the erotic humiliation of a good ole’ fashioned doll fuck is exactly what you need. It’s probably the closest thing you’ll ever get to anything anatomically correct!

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